Greetings and gestational heebie-jeebies - The introduction

Having silently nursed a wish of blogging for years now, I am glad that it has finally come to fruition. I wish I could say the same about the circumstance that has led me to glue myself in front of my laptop and furiously jab the keyboard. But, like the wise say, there is a reason behind every experience that we undergo, and a lesson to be learnt from each.

What can one expect from my log? That is something that I have thought long and hard about. I don’t want to restrict myself to any one category. For starters, I would like to document my experience with the whirlwind that life has set loose on me, this year, Pregnancy. More specifically, the anxiety and panic attacks that it brought on. I am hoping that my experience, and my account of how I have been dealing with it, helps all you individuals out there going through something similar, whether pregnant or not, men and women alike! From then on, I will branch out into other issues that I interest me. One can expect my blog to be honest and straightforward, with points being open to discussion. I hope to make a difference, and also learn from y’all! 

So, here I am, a 31 year old, moderately tech-ignorant, breast surgeon, reaching out to you folks from an Indian metropolis. I love dabbling in almost everything life has to offer to me, and in that which it does not! A Jill of most trades, in search of my passion; Even though I do agree that passion is an overrated entity, and not everyone is lucky to find their’s and engage in it. I try, however. I am enthusiastic about life in general, and like having a modicum of control over things that happen and will probably happen, sometime in the future; But, like Life likes to remind me, I am not the boss, as much as I’d like to be.

Introductions and niceties being done with, I have dawdled long enough. 

Read on to find out how I have been handling all the craziness that my pregnancy hormones have wrought on me!

Mine was a planned pregnancy, and I was excitedly looking forward to that oh-so-beautiful period in a woman’s life. I’d been planning to work until the day before I deliver the little one, like most of my ambitious career-oriented counterparts. I’d been planning to free-style swim my way through the 9 months, contort my heavily pregnant body into the allowed yoga asanas, my face sporting the much-talked-about pregnancy glow, and Instagram these moments. Its funny, how I never once thought about the physical discomfort that it might bring on, or the possible complications, considering what a meticulous planner I considered myself to be. Add to that, pessimistic to boot. 

Then again, this is Life, and she decided to throw in an anchor, before my best-laid plans could set sail.

Maybe I live in an alternate world of my own, but I’ve come to realise that most do not advertise their negative experiences during the 9 month long gestation period. There is a tendency to keep events related to pregnancy quiet, for the fear of having the ‘evil-eye’ cast on them, a traditional taboo or for whatever reason. In fact, when I began reaching out to women, probing into their pregnancy details, voicing my grievances to them, hoping to grab a life saving tip, I was most often brushed-off saying, “Ah! Don’t you worry! All this will resolve once you deliver the little one”. Or, how about the amused exclamation, “ What!? Panic Attack? What are you worried about? You are just being paranoid!”; Or, the familiar drawl, “ Just relax! Take it in your stride. Don’t be so negative!”

I would like to say to all of you. Yes, anxiety is common during pregnancy. But the degree of anxiety bears importance. If it exceeds that of general expectation, it can be detrimental to not just the mother’s mental, emotional and physical health, but also the baby’s. You are definitely not being paranoid! If in doubt, reach out for help, whether from family, friends or from a certified medical specialist. There is absolutely no shame in reaching out for help. I, for one, would label such people, brave! 

I shall regale you more colourful details in my next entry. Until then, I wish you strength, happiness and positivity aplenty!

Acknowledgement: 

My first post! Gratitude is in order. 

I can never be thankful enough to my fantastic family - Mum, Dad, Manoj for being my rock during this exceptionally difficult period in my life, and helping me retain my sanity and confidence. 

Anirudh Acharya; My sounding board, my shoulder to cry on, my best friend, cheerleader, loving husband and Dad to the little one patiently baking in my oven; Thank you for having endless patience with me, at a time when most lose theirs.

Jelin George, my 'chaddi-buddy', fellow gossip-monger. To quote an oft repeated dialogue in Hindi cinema, "Dosti mein, no Sorry, no Thank you" (a famous dialogue from the movie Maine Pyaar Kiya which translates to, no sorry, no thank you in friendship), and yet,  a huge hug to you for being there for me despite having a little angel of your own keeping you busy at all hours!

Dr. Roshan Radhakrishnan, of GODYEARS fame, a friend and senior; Thank you for lending a non judgmental ear and taking the time out to help with my blogging queries.