Life. Here. Now

Firstly, masssssive THANK YOU to all those wonderful people, who took the time out, to text, call, reach out to me after reading my first two posts, letting me know that I am not alone in this fight, to offer me empathy, strength and oodles of positivity! You guys rock!! A panic attack can last anywhere between 10-30 minutes, but leave fear and anxiety in their wake. Sleep eludes you, since the memory of the attack is fresh, and you anticipate panic every time your eyes close. This further invites frustration, irritability, headaches, the inability to concentrate and further anxiety. It is a vicious cycle. The solution is to relax your mental and physical self completely. Easier said than done, considering the emotional turmoil.  Fear should not be underestimated. It can cause an overhaul of your entire personality. ‘Paralysing’  is an apt verb for it. It brought my life to a stand-still. It made me forget the person that I am; But with the right supports, one can l...

Namaskara (customary greeting in Kannada, considering the flavour of the moment)!  I will be taking a short break from my gestational blues to address a far more pressing issue. The amendment to the KPME (Karnatake Private Medical Establishment) act. I say, far more pressing, since, if the amendment is passed, it will not only be a blow to the medical community in Karnataka, but for the entire population! And who’s to say that this may not happen in the other states then? To be honest, I awoke to this very late in the day, despite being a doctor myself, partly due to my aversion to the tone of reporting on Indian television news channels, partly owing to my current gestational state, rendering me bound to the bed and partly because I’ve been practising in the state of Maharashtra. However, I reiterate, if this amendment were to be passed, it will affect everyone in the long-term, irrespective of state, irrespective of profession. For those of you, unaware of the KPMEA, an...

WAKE UP EVERY MORNING AND TELL YOURSELF, “I CAN DO THIS!”   Anxiety is a natural and very normal human emotion. We all experience anxiety of varying intensities on a daily basis. Everybody has different ways of dealing with it. In fact, for many, at low levels, anxiety can even serve as a stimulus for us to do better. However, when any emotion begins to impair one’s daily lifestyle, then it becomes a disorder.   Pregnancy is an occasion to rejoice (for most!). A celebration! Any expectant mother would love to be happy throughout her pregnancy, to welcome the new life. It’s disturbing when one finds that their joyous moment is being marred by unexplained personality disturbances. Even more disturbing is, when we’re judged for it. Perinatal anxiety can manifest in any woman, even those without any pre-existing personality disorders;Though why only certain women are susceptible to it, is unknown. There are new concerns that arise with any pregnancy. ...

“A grand adventure is about to begin” - Winnie the Pooh The pink line on the home pregnancy stick marked the beginning of my grand adventure.  The first sonogram in my 7th week of pregnancy, showed not just my cute little nub of a baby, but also an ominous looking hypo-echoic crescent, indicating a sub-chorionic haemorrhage; A pool of blood between the chorion, a membrane surrounding the embryo, and the uterine wall. My doctor’s brain went into overdrive, thinking of all possible eventualities. I knew it meant that I would be advised bed rest, and I was, for 5 weeks. A dark cloud had been cast over what could have been a very happy moment. There was some alarm, some worry. I would have to take a break from my job. I’d have to curb exercise, swimming, dancing, driving, every physical activity. My husband and I decided to take it in our stride, look at the positives. Secretly, I was glad for the break from my back breaking schedule. The prescribed rest was wha...